The Writer
by GraceW
Summary: The Writer gets more than she bargained for. Very silly crack!fic based on a writing prompt. Whump related. Better explanation inside.


**A/N: Hello. So, this is kinda hard to explain. Basically this spawned from a GateWorldForum prompt about writing, I started typing and the story took over. I don't know how many of you have read my stories, it isn't a prerequisite, but I would encourage you to check them out if you are curious. I put this in the Stargate Atlantis category, because it mainly focuses on John Sheppard. However, a few other characters show up, I tried to make it obvious where they are from, but if you have a question, character references are on the ending Author's Note. Also, none of these characters are actually in character, I know that and couldn't help it. Silly me. **

**This story is me making fun of myself, I don't want to to offend anyone else. This is pure and simple silliness, I guess you would call it a crack!fic. **

* * *

**The Writer by GraceW**

The Writer stretched her neck this way and that, blinking her green eyes underneath her purple glasses, trying to refocus her thoughts. _You can do this, just finish the scene then you can go to bed. _She told herself. The Hobbit soundtrack played quietly through the speakers on her old laptop. The Writer bobbed her head along with the theme music, directing the orchestra with a fervor that (hopefully) her family wouldn't witness. And even if they did, it wasn't that unusual. The Writer could often be found underneath a blanket, holding her laptop and typing away. She typed for a number of different reasons. In college, people would believe that she was doing papers or other research. But there is so much more to do with a laptop than just homework, and Facebook. Forums, blogs, photo manipulating and writing were all common laptop inspired pastimes.

The Writer wasn't particularly great at what she did as a hobby, she was a pathetic excuse for a writer in comparison to the many wonderful authors that graced fanfiction websites. But she did enjoy it. Mostly. There are times when she would get so stuck behind a writing block that she would just want to throw things and eat chocolate.

Writing is hard. It isn't easy figuring out new ways to construct sentences so that The Reader does not get bored. Imagining settings and characters and looking at detail but remembering the big story arch. Using big words, but knowing that too many creates a difficult reading environment and too few makes you just look stupid. Sometimes all The Writer wants to do is: fdkjlrwqe;iouijrewfkjfjadjfld!JLKfdlkj;a!

I'm sure you understand.

Now, back to our plot, what little of it there may be. After a little break on GateWorldForum, The Writer gets back to work. Just as she was about to start, someone appeared.

John Sheppard stood in her living room, wearing his usual black uniform jacket and pants. He looked around, simply taking in his surroundings. Once his eyes met hers, they widened as he realized who she was, he said. "You're The Writer!?"

She stared at him in disbelief. "Umm….yeah."

"You wrote _Point Blank_?"

"I think so, that was a couple years ago." She must be hallucinating. _Probably the three Mountain Dews in the last couple hours, I really need to quit that. _She thought.

"You shot me!" Sheppard reached for a weapon that wasn't there.

"Whoa! Hold your horses. It's just a story! And I think Kolya shot you."

"Do you remember _Into the West_?" He was fuming.

"Yeah, I love that song."

"You KILLED me!" Sheppard paced back and forth and pitched voice higher almost making fun of her. "So dramatic and all, with the sun and the water. Teyla crying. How cliché!"

The Writer glanced down at her computer shyly. "I mean, I guess it was a bit cliché…but it wasn't that bad. It has nine reviews and five favorites."

"Nine other people read about how you killed me?"

"No, nine people reviewed. I don't exactly know how many people actually read it. They probably didn't like it though since they didn't review. Besides more people liked _Point Blank_."

"You write this stuff like I don't get put through enough crap…" Just then, Sheppard was interrupted by a newcomer. Doctor Sam Beckett quantum leaped into the room in a blaze of blue light and 90s special effects music.

"Who are you?" Sheppard looked the man up and down.

"Doctor Beckett." He rubbed his hair and looked around the room.

"Ha! I don't think so. He couldn't make it today, and if he did, I'm sure he'd be almost as angry as I am. She did a number to him as well."

"Dr. Sam Beckett. And I have a bone to pick with this one too." Sam gestured to The Writer.

Have one hallucination was more than enough, but now she was playing host to two. "What did I do to you? _The Leap Through the Gate_ was a great adventure!"

"Remember when you sent me off to Stargate Command and we were held captive by a Goa'uld queen who nearly killed us!"

"It was a thing…" The Writer began, but was interrupted. A familiar sounding engine purred outside before it was turned off. Her front door slammed backwards as a tall man wearing a leather jacket, plaid shirt and jeans entered the room.

Dean Winchester crossed his arms and glared at the confused girl. "Hello. I'd like some words with you."

"What are you even doing here? You got to play soccer and sit in a bar with a pretty girl." John complained, standing up straighter because the newcomer was just a smidge taller than him. "Back off."

"Excuse me, I'm here too." Sam tried to step in the way, trying his best to ward off any physical combat for now.

"What about me?" Benedict Carlton suddenly appeared behind The Writer's chair.

"You are an OC! Why are you here? I made you up." The Writer felt a bit vulnerable sitting while everyone else stood, what if someone broke her laptop?

"You still put me through a lot of emotional pain! It took me months to get over that ordeal!" Ben rocked her chair back. "_Doppelganger_? Really? What an obvious title for a story about a look-a-like."

"Not any stupider than _Kill Me Now _or _Bug Nightmares._ I believe the last one takes the cake." John grabbed Ben's arm, bringing him right into the circle of opposing forces.

"Hello. _Not So Silent Night _for a Christmas story_?_ That's cheesier than Biggerson's triple grilled cheese, with extra cheese." Dean stepped up into John's personal space.

"At least you got the girl, man." Sam tried again to get between any physical blows that might happen. "I had to leap out of a top secret bunker's hospital to a western shoot out. Talk about unprepared."

Ben threw his hands up in the air. "My girl was threatened! She almost died!"

"I DID DIE!" John looked at them all. "You all only had to suffer through one story."

"Um, mine did have the biggest word count." Sam crossed his arms defiantly.

"Shut up, Beckett. She beat me up in nine different stories. Let's tally it here: Thrown under a giant wave. Shot by Kolya. Lost team mates. Strangled by a Wraith Keeper. Infected by a parasite. Stuck in a Genii dungeon. Killed. Turned into a bug twice!" John gestured his point dramatically. The Writer thanked whoever was listening that none of them had weapons.

"No you d-" "Shut your mouth, pretty boy-" "Look here-" "Don't say that-" "Let me at her!" "Did you see what she did to me!" The noise was deafening as the four men argued, shouting at each other. The Writer's cockatiel had joined in the argument, squawking his disapproval from his cage in the next room over.

"Hey!" The Writer had put her laptop down and stood up. Her sweatpants and Doctor Who t-shirt looked a little out of place with the costumed visitors there, but this was her living room after all. "Stop it!"

They continued to shout, pointing fingers and making rude gestures. John and Dean looked like they were about to start throwing punches. The Writer couldn't take it anymore. "I'M SORRY!"

Silence….except for the bird. He doesn't listen very well.

"I'm sorry I put you through what I did. But, news flash: You aren't real! There are lots of people like me. We love to see the character development that happens when someone is put in danger. We even get together to talk about it. Help each other get proper responses and get into character. I'm sure a few are a bit sadistic at times, but fiction is the place to explore that. People escape from their own world when they read, whether it be J.K Rowling, C.S Lewis or my stupid fanfiction page. Reading is amazing and writing is fun! You should be honored that we chose to imagine our favorite TV characters in the written word!"

The four men gaped at her in shock before popping like bubbles and vanishing into thin air. The Writer smiled and smoothed her winkled shirt out. She looked at the bird, who whistled in response, and said. "Good riddance. No more Mountain Dew for me. But now that I think of it, I _really_ should have taken advantage of that."

* * *

**So, I hope you actually made it this far and didn't stop halfway through. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think, even if you think I'm a nutcase, that's great! :) **

**For reference: Dean Winchester is from the show Supernatural and was included in my 2 of my stories. Sam Beckett is from Quantum Leap and was included in one Stargate SG-1 crossover. Ben Carlton was an OC in my BBC Sherlock story. Go check them out if you are interested! **

**Love to all! **


End file.
